


I don't know where i would be without you.

by RobinJuncadella



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Crying, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 21:24:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16795006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinJuncadella/pseuds/RobinJuncadella
Summary: Valtteri is alone for a few days, and he can't stop doubting himself.





	I don't know where i would be without you.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I hope y'all enjoy it, i liked writing this pairing. I don't know if it's okay in grammar etc but I'm too lazy to check

It was Thursday, just after the Pirelli tests. Valtteri was on his way home, glad he could finally take some distance from F1. 

No more annoying press that keeps asking the same question, no more being Lewis’s so-called ‘wingman’, no more hate from the media or the fans. 

And finally being able to spend time with his friends, family and most importantly his boyfriend. 

Meanwhile Valtteri’s boyfriend, Max. Wasn’t on his way home, because he had some unexpected duties for his team. 

Valtteri had cried after Max had called him, he was so excited about spending time with him. Just being able to spend some time alone, not doing much. 

Valtteri liked and disliked being alone at the same time. being alone meant not having to interact with anyone, but it also meant his mind had time to overthink.

After a long flight from Abu Dhabi to Finland and a short carride Valtteri was finally home. He took a long shower, feeling dirty after his long flight.

Once he was done showering, he dressed himself and grabbed a cup of coffee after. He sat down on the couch, and laid his feet on the coffee table.

It didn’t take long for his mind to start spinning again, all kinds of negative thoughts coming at once.

‘what if's' start playing through his mind, what if he’s just not good enough, what if everyone is right about him being notning more than a wingmen, he’s just Lewis’s little helper nothing more.

Blood pounded in his ears, his heart thudded in his chest. His vision went black, and the coffee cup in his hand shattered in pieces. Valtteri’s breath heavened, and he started sweating like he had just driven a grand prix.

He couldn’t breath anymore, was he this weak? Was he this weak, that his own stupid thoughts could affect him like this? All the thoughts going through his head, made it even harder.

He screamed, hard. Which caused him to calm down, surprised by his own outburst. His breath was still quick, but it became slower and slower. He sat down, and laid his hands in his head. He was confused, he sure was angry sometimes. But he never had such an outburst. 

Once he had calmed down, he noticed the cut in his hand. He stood up and went to the kitchen to clean it up. Once he was done he came back in the livingroom and cleaned up the mess he had made with the cup.

Once he was done cleaning up, he went for a long shower, feeling dirty after having sweat so much.

The next few days went by slowly, Valtteri’s own thoughts keeping him from relaxing. Max wouldn’t come home till the next Wednesday, and Valtteri had never felt this lonely and sad.

Tears started forming in his eyes once again, he tried to stop them but they just kept running. He couldn’t control them, he was weak, he was a coward. He couldn’t even control his own tears.

He started doubting his relationship, why would someone like a person like him? Max had a whole career in front of him, while he just failed. Where was the reason to keep going, getting humiliated by Lewis every race.

He was too busy with thinking, to hear Max coming in. Max was lucky to finish all his duties earlier than expected. He made his way to the bedroom, and put on one of Valtteri’s sweatshirts. 

It had become a habit for him, putting on Valtteri’s sweatshirts, it made him feel home. He made his way to the livingroom, hugging Valtteri from behind, not noticing the dried tears on his cheeks.

Valtteri tensed up for a moment, but he relaxed when Max put a kiss on his neck. 

“you're home early.” Valtteri said, trying to sound as normal as possible.

“Yes, they let me go home early.” Max said, still planting kisses on Valtteri’s neck.

“But hey eh, Max?” Valtteri asked.

“D- d- do you uh love me?”

“No I'm just using you for your sweatshirts.” Max said with a small chuckle.

“oh..” Valtteri sighed, clearly upset by Max’s answer. A tear already falling down his face.

“Yes, I don’t just love you, I adore you.” Max said, while hugging Valtteri from behind. 

“You do?”

“Yes silly.” 

“me- me too.” Valtteri blushed.

Max sat down on Valtteri’s lap, cupping Valtteri’s face in his hands. “Val, I adore you make my life so much better. I don’t know where I would be without you. Remember my start of the season? How badly i fucked up? You made me believe in myself again. Don’t ever doubt yourself, I know what you've been thinking about the past couple of days. It’s just between your ears, you're one of the greatest out there.” Max finished his speech with a kiss on the finn’s lips.

Valtteri was crying once again, but this time it was different. He felt lucky, all he needed was right in front of him, Max.

“I love you Max.”

“I love you too, and your sweatshirts.”


End file.
